THIS MAN!

I TOLD MYSELF, OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND!!!
I ACTUALLY TRIED TO CONVINCE MYSELF OF THIS!
           I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK ABOUT THIS MAN.
THIS MAN! THIS MAN IS WAY TO GOOD FOR ME. THIS MAN!

HE HAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SPIRIT IT SCARES ME.
HOW COULD I HAVE HURT HIM.  I'LL TELL YOU HOW; I HAD NO CHOICE.
I COULD NOT AND WOULD NOT HOLD HIM BACK FROM THE LIFE HE DESERVES!  MAYBE HE WAS RIGHT.  MAYBE IT WASN'T UP TO ME TO DECIDE
WHAT WAS BEST FOR HIM WHEN IT CAME TO ME. MAYBE!!!

     ALL I KNOW IS I LOVE THIS MAN. I MEAN "LOVE THIS MAN."
ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS I HAVE EVER HAD TO DO IN LIFE WAS
SHUTTING HIM OUT.  I CRIED SO HARD! WHAT THE F#CK WAS I CRYING FOR?
     DAMN! I CRIED LIKE WE'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 30 YEARS OR SOMETHING.  I CAN'T DENY THE FACT THAT I DO WANT THIS MAN TO BE A PART OF MY LIFE BUT I DON'T THINK HE WOULD EVER EXCEPT ME AS
                                          "THE FRIEND"

    IF HE CALLED ME UP & TOLD ME HE WAS HAPPILY MARRIED TODAY,
I WOULD PROBABLY BE A LITTLE SAD BUT I WOULD BE OK CAUSE AT LEAST
I WAS MADE AWARE OF HIS HAPPINESS!  I HOPE ONE DAY MAYBE AFTER SOME TIME PASSES AND LIFE CONTINUES, I'LL FIND MY WAY INTO HIS WORLD.  I WOULD LOVE TO BE THAT SHOULDER, THAT FRIEND, THAT LOVE.

          IF I THOUGHT FOR A SECOND THAT BEING AROUND HIM WOULD CAUSE HIM MORE HARM THAN GOOD I WOULD JUST CONTINUE TO STAY AWAY JUST AS I AM DOING NOW.  DAMN THIS SH#T SUCKS NOT KNOWING IF HE'S OK, IF HE'S HURTING, IF HE'S IN TROUBLE, I MEAN DAMN!!!

         I WILL KEEP PRAYING FOR HIM AS ALWAYS.  I WILL LET GOD COVER WHAT I CAN'T.  I TRULY BELIEVE THAT WHAT IS MEANT TO BE WILL BE.
         LIFE PASSES BY LIKE A SEASON AND SO DO THE PEOPLE THAT COME IN AND OUT OF OUR LIVES! THIS I KNOW! BUT, I ALSO KNOW THAT SEASONS
CHANGE AND REPEAT! THEY LEAVE AND COME BACK!

                      THIS MAN, THIS MAN! OMG, THIS MAN!
         LORD, COVER THIS MAN IN YOUR BLOOD.  KEEP HIM SAFE.
GIVE HIM THE GRACE TO BE MORE LIKE YOU.  MAKE HIM WHOLE WHEREVER HE IS BROKEN.  MAKE CLEAR WHAT HAS BEEN DISTORTED.  FOLLOW HIM WHEREVER HE GOES, FOREVER AND EVER, AMEN!